Massive Forest Appears in Nightvale Wastes

By Alexandre DuBroy

NIGHTVALE, NV-The peaceful burgh of Nightvale was once again thrown into chaos after a giant forest materialized near town. Residents are puzzled, as no forest has existed in these desolate wastes for thousands of years. The forest is said to be a dark, and menacing place, full of creepers and brambles.

The City Council has issued a statement regarding the forest.

“There has always been a forest there. Things like that don’t just materialize. If it did just come from thin air, it was probably because somebody did something without a permit.” When asked by a reporter from the Dessert Bluffs Times to elaborate further, the council responded “People die when they don’t have permits.” The council then turned into large, fire breathing demons, and began eating reporters whole.

A number of theories have emerged about the origin of the forest.

Old woman Josie says the angels told her that “The forest is actually an amusement park, and the council is lying because it wants to keep lines short.”

Our local scientific expert, Carlos, has his own conclusion. He also has beautiful, flowing hair. The reporter only caught him saying “Run! Run for your lives! Nightvale isn’t safe!” The rest of the conversation was unheard while the reporter stared at his beautiful hair.

The owner of the local bowling alley believes differently. He thinks it is a mishap from the Nuclear Research facility run by the sheriff’s secret police. He says “I have long suspected a facility in the wastes, and this cements it. They have been doing things like this for far too long, and it is time for them to stop.” Upon the completion of the interview, a land rover with blacked out windows drove up. Several dark suited men dragged him away. He is likely being held in the abandoned mines outside of town, until he has been “corrected.”

The forest has so far remained mute, and had not given a statement at press time.