by Molly West
Who doesn’t love a good article? To write an article is to illustrate a beautiful work of art with words. It is an intimate experience, similar to performing a pas de deux. Here at Denobis, we not only write articles, but we breathe them. Articles run through our veins. If you were to pierce our skin, words would come out instead of blood.
However, what if you don’t have an idea for an article? Your whole world will stop turning. Darkness will seep into the corners of your mind. The high expectations riding on your shoulders will begin to crush you. Fear not, my fellow writer! There is a light in the abyss. By the end of this how-to, you will know how to come up with the perfect article idea in the nick of time.
Step 1: Make a list of what interests you
This could be a wide variety of things. Maybe you thoroughly enjoy music or painting. Maybe you have a passion for gender equality. Maybe you spend your free time sobbing aggressively over fictional characters who live in fictional worlds. Take all of these things you care about and take a good look at them. Look deeper than the surface.
Some people may be able to stop there. You can make a review of a show you like or a how-to of how to be good at your favorite activity. If you get an idea, that’s great! If not, then read on.
Step 2: Look at recent news for That Thing You Like
In the real world, people tend to read articles to be educated. They want to be informed on the recent happenings of our planet. Look up whatever it is you like, and see if anything interesting has happened within that world recently. For example, if you like music, you can talk about new hit songs.
Don’t have an idea yet? Now is not the time to panic. There is still hope for you.
Step 3: Step back and look at your own school
Maybe there was a great basketball game you saw on Tuesday. Some people may not have been able to attend, but want to know what happened. If you don’t have an idea for something you are actually passionate about, you can at least scrap the bottom of the barrel and do the bare minimum.
Step 4: Reconsider
Lie on the floor. Stare up at the ceiling. Watch as the entirety of vast space fills your mind. You will begin to sink into the floor as you fall deep into an existential crisis. Are articles even real? What’s the point of writing an article if we’re all going to die someday?
Maybe, somewhere in your deep and worrying thoughts, you will get an idea. Maybe your therapist will give you an idea after she tells you for the fourth time to stop running away from your feelings. If not, then you still have an option.
Step 5: Ask Ms. Kauffman
Your last hope of salvation. Ask her for an article prompt, and she will give you something witty and fun. At that point, you will be so desperate and scared, you will take what you can get. Also, since she is a teacher, you will feel intimidated into writing her idea. Thus, you will, at last, be able to write an article.
I got this article idea from Kauffman.
That concludes this how-to. Hopefully, some writers out there found it useful. If you did not get an idea for this, then you are a hopeless cause; a skeleton left behind to disintegrate. I wish you luck with your article writing, you poor soul.